Peter

Peter Lalley is the "best damn cop" around. (well, at least according to him) He believes everyone on the police force is worthless and tries to overtake all their jobs.

Joan

Joan Lalley is the sweetest woman on earth. Except she requires a complete knowledge and resume of each neighbor and their children, friends, relatives, pets, co-workers, family history. Well, you get the idea.

Joey

Joey Lalley is, well, a dork. He believes he is the coolest dude in school and all the chicks want him. When actually, he's a computer nerd and all the ladies laugh at him.

Shelly

Shelly. She's smart, she's sexy, she's cool, and occasionally has seizures at school as well as a slight case of Tourette's.

"Schubert"

Don't really know.